When a casual Google search into Toronto-based indie pop act Alvvays was headed by a sponsored link advertising a show in two weeks, I was hit by a wave of FOMO. Seventy bucks later, I had to my name two tickets and a determination not to attend this concert alone. My inquiry in the group chat fell on deaf ears. So, I did what any self-respecting heterosexual man would do: try to drag the girlfriend along.
“Maybe!” she said.
Thus began a two-week long pro-Alvvays campaign. In an earlier time, I’d joke at the expense of K-Pop fangirls, but now, I shamefully found myself falling back on their iniquitous tactics. “LOOK AT THIS JIMIN INTERVIEW ISN’T HE ADORABLE?” became “LOOK AT THIS MOLLY RANKIN INTERVIEW ISN’T SHE SUCH A COMPELLING AND DOWN-TO-EARTH REPRESENTATION OF WOMEN IN THE MODERN MUSIC INDUSTRY?” I sent songs. I sent dorky Pitchfork videos. I ranted about their new album. After many trials and tribulations, I found my trump card in the form of their 2014 hit “Archie, Marry Me.”
Archie is an interesting name. For me, Archie is the villain from Pokemon: Sapphire with the funky facial hair and the goofy pirate get-up. For my indecisive sweetheart, however, Archie is Archibald “Archie” William Gray Harrison Nicoletti Arndt, her caramel-colored canine companion back home. As I played the track over her room’s Bluetooth speaker, I saw my beloved’s blue eyes light up as she exclaimed “ARCHIE!!!”, no doubt in reference to her faraway four-legged friend.
With the power of puppy love, I successfully persuaded my girlfriend to drop everything on a Tuesday evening for a night of high-decibel dreampop delight. I had no delusions as I entered Marathon Music Works — my date was clearly in it for Archie and Archie alone. She was moderately enthused by the extended Alvvays catalog, especially as we did our best awkward high school prom slow dance to the softer cuts. But by mid-set, she wanted Archie.
As a guess, I declared at one point that the next song would be “Archie, Marry Me,” and through either dumb luck or clairvoyance, I was right. While frontwoman Molly Rankin belted “Hey, hey, marry me Archie,” I saw my partner’s eyes light up once more with that brilliant baby-blue glow of pure bliss. Mission accomplished.
Featured graphic by Sadie Karr
